sexta-feira, maio 19, 2006

Uma carta para o Dino

Caro Dino,
escrevo-te esta carta de personagem ficional para personagem ficcional, de modo a saber o que se passa contigo rapaz.
Passou um mês desde que resolveste ir de balão fazer um piquenique sabe-se lá onde. Passou-se alguma coisa com o balão? Epá és mesmo um maluco a ir assim de balão sozinho e tudo. Vê lá e tem cuidado com as árvores ao desceres e ao subir. É que mesmo sabendo que os incêndios deram conta de muita árvore, acho que ainda há algumas bem altas e que te podem dar algum trabalho! Sabes que essa gente agora planta árvores nos sitios mais impróprios. Bem, ao menos vais sozinho! Estou a imaginar o que aconteceria caso fosses com mais alguém...ui!Coitadinha da pessoa que fosse contigo, da maneira como são os hospitais, deveria andar de hospital em hospital até bater a bota... felizmente foste sozinho! É verdade! E chegaste a levar...humm.... como dizê-lo neste espaço público? O produto! Chegaste a levar "aquele produto"? Epá é que tens de ter cuidado que aquilo dá um coice que nem te conto meu amigo.

Bem, entretanto venho por este meio implorar-te que voltes depressa! Desde que te foste embora, o preço da gasolina diminuiu, numa obvia tentativa das gasolineiras para evitar que as pessoas fizessem como tu e passassem a ir de balão para todo o lado, confesso que eu próprio ainda tentei ir de Sintra a Lisboa de Balão para evitar a IC19 mas devido aos ventos fui sempre parar ao Barreiro e abandonei essa ideia. Mas continuando, depois dessa ligeira diminuição, acho que perceberam que isso do andar de balão não ia a lado nenhum e lá voltaram a subir os preços. Agora vamos ter de trabalhar até morrer, isto porque o governo sabia e via como tu eras um gajo trabalhador e a estrela daquilo tudo pá (sem ti como poderiam os outros continuar?) e resolveram que toda a malta haveria de ser como tu! Imagina que até as maternidades vão fechar e, como não se sabe onde estás, o governo deve pensar que estás por terras de Espanha e assim sendo agora decretaram que os bébés tugas também lá vão nascer. Tudo para te imitar suponho... É assim, tens mesmo de dizer à malta do PS para parar com a fixação nas medidas laranja! Diz-lhes por favor que só vestias laranja porque achavas fixe e porque és daltónico! Vá lá! É que aquilo nem parece um partido centro-esquerda pá!

Falando agora da roupa, lamento informar-te mas a moda do andar de laranja não vingou se bem que, de vez em quando lá se vê algum pessoal dos daltónicos anónimos (D.A. ou Duh se for dito pela malta de Cascais) por ai enveredando indumentária de tom laranja florescente muito ao teu estilo.
Há também uma tipa que está a aparecer muito nas revistas dizendo ser tua namorada. Oh seu animal! Então a comer fora do prato hã? Bem, a tal jovem diz a torto e a direito que não consegue falar de ti devido à dor da saudade. E tudo isto numas boas 4 ou 5 páginas de texto! Isso é que é não ter nada para dizer puto!
Bem a menssagem já vai longa e por isso fico-me por aqui. Para uma próxima carta fica a nossa discussão sobre os cegos e no que eles pensam quando estão a "debulhar a espiga". Se continuas a dizer que eles pensam na secção de bacalhau do Pingo-Doce, continuo a dizer que és maluco mas isso é lá contigo! Enfim rapaz vai dizendo coisas por favor!
Um abraço amigo

Cara-de-Pau

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